I Wear A Halo When You Look At Me
by weepyhystericaldrunk
Summary: Santana decides to stay in New York after Nationals to help her get the courage to come out  and then she comes out with Brittany right beside her.   Rated M for future chapters. Brittana.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: ****I Wear A Halo When You Look At Me - Chapter One**

**Pairing: Brittana**

**Rating: PG-13 (I think)**

**Summary: Santana decides to stay in New York after Nationals to help her get the courage to come out and then she comes out with Brittany right beside her. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the Characters I've used. **

**Spoilers: None (I think)**

**Authors Notes: This is my first fanfic so I hope it's okay and also, sorry for any incorrect Spanish, I don't speak it and I used a translater so...**

** This chapter is just to get to the actual story of Santana coming out and her relationship with Brittany. The following chapters will be a lot different to this one. **

Santana knew that she couldn't go back to Lima after Nationals. She couldn't spend her summer either without Brittany or hiding the fact that she was _with_ Brittany. She needed to find herself, to find courage to be true with herself, to find the courage she needed to come out. New York was the place to do that, she decided.

Mr. Shue. of course refused to leave without her so Santana had to get her father on the phone with him, telling him she was staying in New York. Julian Lopez cared about his daughter but couldn't find the strength to argue with her over the phone and refuse her request and then have her mope around the house because he hadn't given into her. He was much too busy for that, as was her mother, Rosa Lopez. After a long phone call that left her father less than happy, he agreed to let her stay for the summer provided she contacted them daily to let them know she was okay. The only reason he had agreed was because he'd arranged for Santana to stay with her aunt and young cousins who lived in New York and after giving Santana the address, telling her to stay safe and out of trouble, the conversation ended and Santana smiled.

The young Latina broke the news to Brittany who was not at all happy. Trying to explain to the blond girl was difficult because the truth was that Santana wanted nothing more than to spend every single day of summer with her but she couldn't do that openly yet and she knew it would hurt their relationship because Brittany wanted them to be a couple publicly.

Brittany pouted but told Santana that she was okay with it. Santana knowing her best friend too well knew that she wasn't.

"It's only for the summer, Britt. I'll be back for school." Santana explained, a comforting hand laid on the taller girls shoulder. It was harder than she thought to leave Brittany, despite it only being for a short period of time. But this was _for_ Brittany,_ for_ them. Santana needed to see that she could be accepted as a lesbien so she wouldn't be afraid to come out and so she could officially make Brittany hers.

"I know." Brittany smiled but there was sadness in her eyes. "I'm just going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Santana told her genuinely. She knew she would. She missed the blond girl after being apart form her for just a few hours but if she didn't do this they wouldn't be able to be together.

"Santana?" Brittany lifted her head to meet the Latina's sad brown eyes. Her hand crawled across her own thigh and found Santana's hand. Slipping their fingers together, Brittany sniffed before she continued. "What if you meet someone else?"

The words broke the Latina's heart. She thought the exact same about Brittany; what if she met someone when Santana wasn't there? What if she went back to Artie? Santana knew herself that even if she did meet someone else, another pretty girl, she would never want or like or need or love her as much as she did Brittany. She wasn't worried about that at all but she was worried about Brittany finding someone in her absence.

"What if you meet someone else?" Santana directed Brittany's question back to her, an eyebrow raised.

It made Brittany chuckle slightly and then pout. Santana thought that those were the little things she was going to miss most about Brittany in the coming month or so. With a reassuring squeeze on Santana's hand, Brittany shook her head.

"I wont." She said confidently but her voice was still sad. "I know that I wont. It's just...this is New York. I've seen like a million hot girls and I haven't even been here that long and you're going to be here for at least a month! I just..."

Brittany stopped talking with a sigh when she met Santana's eyes.

"Britt, that would defeat the whole purpose of me staying here in the first place!" Santana smiled gently scooting closer to Brittany on the bed they had shared the previous night. Santana had had to bride Rachel into switching rooms with her with tickets to a stupid musical that cost her a fortune. They didn't have sex, they just held each other, something Santana had wanted to do since Brittany and Artie broke up but she never found the chance to. "I'm only staying here so, you know..." Santana trailed off, embarrassed.

"So you will be brave enough to be my girlfriend?" Brittany offered both sweetly and slightly insensitively although she didn't know it.

"Well yeah." Santana sighed, not liking that Brittany thought that she wasn't brave enough, despite it being true.

"But I already think you're brave." Brittany argued and Santana thought that Brittany was reading her mind.

"I'm not though, Britt. And I want to be, I really do. I want to be brave for you and that's why I need to stay here." The words came out smoother than they were in Santana's head and Brittany nodded, understanding.

"Okay." Brittany agreed. "I love you and I want us to be able to kiss and hold hands and for you to be okay about it."

Santana smiled at Brittany, knowing that she was the only one who ever understood her.

"But, we're not together right now." Brittany said slowly and Santana raised an eyebrow. Santana had assumed that because of last night and today and all of the time they spent together in New York that they were in fact together.

"Sorry?" Her voice was high like she expected it to be, but she didn't expect to sound so nervous.

"You're going to stay here, San and you can't have a girlfriend." Brittany said, confusing the smaller girl. "If you want to..." Brittany swallowed. "If you want to kiss other girls then you can and you know other stuff too."

"I don't want to kiss girls and 'other stuff too'." Santana frowned.

"I'm just saying that if you were to meet a girl you thought was pretty then you can do those things and I wont be mad or upset just as long as you don't fall in love with any of them." She sounded sad and she was. Brittany didn't actually want Santana to do those things but she wanted to give her the freedom to be able to if i she /i wanted. The thought of Santana and anyone else made her heart hurt but she wouldn't tell the Latina that.

"I'm only staying here to get away from Lima, to see that I can actually be accepted for who I am. Britt, the only person I love is you. " Santana whispered, squeezing the blonds hand tightly in her own.

"Good." Brittany nodded. "So, you can kiss them and stuff and get all brave so you can come back and kiss me again, okay?"

Santana understood what Brittany was saying but she had no desire to go after girls in New York. She simply wanted to walk the city proudly as a lesbian and let people she met know what her sexual preferences were without being afraid.

"So you'll do it?" Brittany asked when Santana didn't speak. "You'll kiss other girls and tell them that you're a lesbian?"

"Well...okay, sure." Santana nodded, not wanting to get into an argument about it when Brittany was leaving in only a few hours.

"Just remember you love me but, okay?" Brittany leaned forward towards Santana, her eyes trusting.

"Of course." Santana agreed, knowing that that was one thing she was never going to forget.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both girls thinking deeply about the situation. Santana was nervous about it all but Brittany, who couldn't think of anything but being Santana's girlfriend in a few weeks, was excited.

"Wait." Santana frowned, shaking her head slightly. "No, I mean, I don't think this is a good idea. I don't want you to hook up with other people."

"I wont." Brittany shrugged, the thought having not actually crossed her mind. It was silly that Santana had thought about that, Brittany thought.

"Yeah, but it's not exactly right for me to go around doing it then, is it?" Santana questioned still having no intentions of even being in a position where she would ever kiss another person.

"I know who I am, San. I know that I like boys and girls and I accept that." Brittany smiled and then chuckled, "I'll tell everyone that!"

Santana had to laugh at Brittany's excitement about the subject but she also envied the taller girl for being able to love who she was and be comfortable enough to share it with the world. At same time she was so glad that Brittany was so comfotable with herself because she would never wanted the blond to feel afraid or scared.

"But that doesn't even matter." Brittany went on. "Because I only like you. I only love you, San. I want to tell people that too, when you're ready. You can hook up with girls so you can get ready and brave but I don't need to do that 'cause I'm already brave!" Brittany smiled happily.

"You sure are." Santana mumbled, smiling at Brittany. "I love you."

The words were so easy to say when they were alone, so natural and Santana just knew that she was going to be so proud when she could tell everyone that she loved the dancer.

"I love you, too." Brittany smiled. "So..." She tugged her hand from Santana's and held up her pinky finger. The Latina grinned and wrapped her own pinky around Brittany's finger. "I'll see you next month?"

"I'll see you next month. And I promise that you're the only person I'll ever love." Santana added the last bit to reassure Brittany, who she could tell was now a little anxious about the whole situation.

"Come here." Brittany grinned, her cheeks flushing red slightly. With that Santana fell into Brittany's open arms, holding the blond tightly, committing to memory Brittany's smell and the way their bodies fitted together, although she knew she could never forget. Brittany, who buried her face in Santana's hair, was doing the exact same thing.

A few hours later, the Glee club were saying goodbye to Santana and stepping into their taxi's to head to the airport. Rachel stole a surprising hug, telling Santana to be safe. Rachel knew that Santana and Brittany loved each other and her thoughts were confirmed after being bribed last night to switch rooms so they could be together. Rachel didn't say anything to anyone else and she wouldn't, she knew it was serious and although she wasn't exactly friends with Santana, the Latina had been a lot nicer to her than usual and of course, Rachel liked Brittany and wanted to see the dancer happy. Santana had almost killed the little diva a few nights ago after not placing high enough at Nationals but she was over it now and Rachel seemed to be too.

Brittany and Santana had said their tearful goodbyes in the hotel room and left each other with a tight hug and a whispered 'I love you' before Brittany stepped into the taxi, watery eyed beside Rachel who reached for her hand.

Santana stayed in the hotel for the night and early in the afternoon the next day, she arrived at her aunts house. Her Aunt Emesta was thrilled to see the Latina and Santana had to admit that she was excited too. The woman was in her mid-thirties but she understood Santana like no other adult did and Emesta was the first person, other than Brittany and Dave who she came out to.

"Oh, Santana!" Emesta had grinned, pulling Santana in for a hug. "Why are you so afraid to tell your mami and papi that? I would never have thought though, you were always running around with boys!"

Santana returned Emesta's enthusiastic hug, completely gobsmacked by her reaction. She thought the dark-haired woman would accept that she was a lesbian just because that's the kind of person she was but she never thought Emesta would be so excited about it.

"I know,_ tia._ " Santana whispered into the older womans chest. "I was confused and ashamed but..."

"You shouldn't be ashamed, i querida! /i " Emesta gasped pushing Santana back to look at her face. "You are perfect the way you are, no matter who you are attracted to!"

Santana couldn't help but grin and think how easy it was to say she was a lesbian out loud.

"Please don't tell my mom and dad." The Latina's smile fell. "I'm going to when I go home, when I'm ready to. I'm scared of what they'll say."

"Oh, Santana!" Emesta giggled. "Rosa will never care about whether you're straight or not, she just wants to see you happy, sweetheart! I don't know about your father, he's always been...you know but he loves you, you know he loves you."

Santana shivered in the older womans arms. She was right about her father, he wouldn't accept her. He hated anyone who wasn't the same as him, anyone who was different. It was strange though because even though he was like that he was still a great father and Santana did love him. Would he love her enough not to chuck her out when she came out to them? Santana didn't know if she would be able to tell him. As far as she knew her father wansn't totally homophobic but there were little things that he did that showed he didn't like gay people; Santana remembers how he would turn the tv off if a gay couple were on it, he had never spoken a word to the woman next door because he'd seen her with another woman and the time the Glee club were at her house, her father took her aside to ask about Kurt and he had looked so disgusted. Santana had been so scared then and pushed so far back into the closet that she refused to even aknowledge that she was a lesbian for weeks after. He was going to hate her.

"So..." The older woman nudged Santana playfully with a smirk, brining Santana away from all the negative thoguths about her father. "Is there anyone special, then?"

Santana looked down shyly and then nodded much to Emesta's delight.

"Tell me about her, what's her name?" Emesta quizzed.

"Brittany." Santana immediately responded. She realized as soon as she said the girls name, that when she was a lesbian she was much less of a bitch and more open. There was nothing to hide when she could admit who she was and she could be open, she didn't have to defend herself as much or be as angry. Being honest was easier. _So _much easier.

Santana went on to tell Emesta all about Brittany, all about their relationship and she felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She could breath now. She had never shared this part of herself with anyone other than Brittany and she had never discussed her relationship with anyone other than Brittany either.

"You must bring her to meet us!" Emesta grinned when Santana was finished talking. "I want to know the girl who's made my _sobrina_ so happy!"

"I will." Santana promised genuinely with a smile.

The rest of Santana's time spent in the company of Emesta and her two equally accepting 13 year old cousins was as it would have been had Santana not admitted that she was a lesbian. They didn't treat her differently, something that Santana was so glad about.

The Latina missed Brittany so much more than she thought she would and it was difficult for her to get to sleep most nights. She worried about the blond, knowing that it was usually her who put her right and helped her and she wasn't there. There was no way to contact Brittany because the blond girl had lost her cell phone in a swimming pool a few days before their trip to New York, how that happened, Santana still had no clue and the Pierce's didn't have a home phone.

During her days in New York, Santana helped Emesta with the house and the girls who Santana grew to adore. She took them out sometimes for ice-cream or to the cinema. Other days, Santana just wondered the streets, taking in the sights and breathing in the air.

On a particularly sunny Friday afternoon when Santana strolled lazily through Central Park, she met a girl called Grace. Santana had taken a seat on a nearby bench and stretched her legs out, taking in the sunlight. Grace had sat down on the same bench, pulling out a book and reading silently. Santana didn't fail to notice the blond hair girl sneaking glances at her over the top of her book on several occasions and decided to talk to her.

"Hey." Santana had smiled simply. Santana knew that if the girl was in fact attracted to her like she was led to believe then she didn't need to say much, just her smile would be enough.

"Hi." Grace had smiled back, lowering her book.

Santana realized that her eyes were blue, not as blue and not nearly as beautiful as Brittany's but blue nonetheless. The Latina smirked when she looked properly at the girl and realized just how much she looked like Brittany. Grace's hair was a lighter shade of blond but it fell mostly the same way Brittany's did, the girl was tall like Brittany and her smile reminded Santana of the girl she loved too.

"Santana." The Latina extended her hand which Grace took quickly and shook.

"I'm Grace." She replied and closed her book, setting it down beside her.

They looked at each other for a moment, both breaking out into a grin at the same time.

"So you're into me right?" Santana gestured at her body, smiling cockily.

"You're not shy!" Grace giggled, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

"That I'm not." Santana agreed liking the effect she was having on the girl. "I'm gay, by the way." Santana added with a shrug deciding just to go for it and say it. She felt her cheeks warm when she did say it but it was something she needed to do. She needed to just say it, say it to anyone, she wanted to be accepted again like the way her aunt and cousins had accepted her.

"Okay." Grace smiled shyly. "Me too." The girl shrugged.

Santana had never felt more confident in her entire life than she did in that moment. She had admitted to someone she didn't know that she liked women and it had come so easily. Luckily for her it was someone in a position to understand, considering she was gay too. Santana began to wonder whether on not she was making a bigger deal out of coming out than it needed to be because so far, in New York, it had been super easy.

The girls talked for a long time on the bench and agreed to meet in the same place the next day. Santana had to admit that Grace was hot, she did look an awful lot like Brittany after all and Santana was attracted to her. In the next week, they grew close and they almost slept together.

Santana regretted it the second it happened because in her head she was with Brittany, despite the blond saying otherwise. They had gone to some club, Santana was far too young to even get into and she got more than tipsy and decided that she wanted to see what it was like to be with another woman who wasn't Brittany. The Latina needed to know for sure that she was in fact, attracted to women in general and that she enjoyed sleeping with women and not just Brittany, before she could come out to her parents. Although she didn't actually have sex with Grace, they got far enough for Santana to know that she was more than sure she like women.

Santana felt sick with herself, like she'd cheated on Brittany, and she knew in her heart that she had but she needed to be sure and the experience helped her in some way at least. It confirmed two things for her; one, she was indeed a lesbian and women were much better than men and two, she was in love with Brittany and no matter how scared she was, she was going to come out for her, to be with her.

Santana walked out of Grace's apartment the second she sobered up while they were making out on Grace's couch and went straight back to Emesta's house and showered. She felt dirty and guilty even though Brittany said it was okay.

It had been something she needed to do but Santana would never do something like that again, even with Brittany's permission. She just wanted Brittany again and so one week before the end of the month, Santana packed her things up and left for Lima.

Emesta was sad to see her go as were Lily and Gabriella but Santana promised to return soon with Brittany. The trip back was long and Santana was nervous to see Brittany again. She was going to tell her what had happened, how sorry she was about it and how it wouldn't happen ever again and then she was going to tell her parents she was gay.

When Santana got back to Lima, she headed home to get showered and changed before she went to see Brittany. Her parents greeted her, welcoming her back, telling her that they missed her and refusing to let her leave before they'd all had dinner and Santana told them about her stay in New York. She couldn't help but wonder what her father would have done had she told him why she wanted to stay threre in the first place or what she got up to there. She just didn't know how he would react.

Santana hurried out the door after that and took her car to Brittany's. She waited outside for an entire 15 minutes before knocking on the blond's door and waiting to see her again. She didn't want to tell Brittany about what had happened with Grace, she barely remembers she was that drunk but she would. She wouldn't keep anything from Brittany and the taller girl was sure to ask her about what she had gotten up to. Santana wasn't sure whether or not Brittany would think it was that much of a big deal.

The door was pulled open and Santana's heart stopped when she saw Brittany standing there. The looked at each other for a moment and then lunged towards each other at the same time, grinning.

"I missed you so much, Britt!" Santana whispered into Brittany's shoulder, hugging her so tightly her own arms ached.

Brittany held Santana in an equally tight grip repeating 'I missed you' over and over again between kissed against her head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: ****I Wear A Halo When You Look At Me - Chapter Two**

**Pairing: Brittana**

**Rating: PG-13 (I think)**

**Summary: Santana decides to stay in New York after Nationals to help her get the courage to come out and then she comes out with Brittany right beside her. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the Characters I've used. **

**Spoilers: None (I think)**

**.**

Santana fell back into the softness of Brittany's familiar bed with a small sigh. She was still tired from her journey and the warm fabric beneath her made her just want to fall asleep. Brittany sat next to her, her long legs hanging over the edge of the bed, covered by long bottoms dotted with little different colored ducks.

"I didn't know you were going to be back so soon, San." Brittany smiled, clearly excited to see her friend.

Santana was equally excited and more than happy to be with Brittany but her tired eyes didn't show it. "I know, I wanted to come back though. I wanted to see you."

Brittany blushed slightly and giggled shyly.

"So...?" The taller girls voice was soft but uncertain. She thought that Santana would dive right into telling her stories about New York but so far the Latina had remained silent.

"It was...good." Santana spoke slowly, understanding what Brittany was asking her. She was dreading telling Brittany about the Grace thing because she knew that even thought the blonde would hide it she would be heartbroken. Brittany had been the one to put the idea in her head but Santana knew that she would regret it.

"That's it?" Brittany grinned, knowing there was more to tell.

"This is...so lame." Santana mumbled ducking her head embarrassed. "But I really missed your voice...and your smile, even."

Brittany's heart swelled. It wasn't often that the Latina spoke about her feeling even when she was with Brittany. When she needed to Santana told Brittany how much she loved her and things she loved about her but she never really said things that would be considered 'cute' or 'sweet'.

"It's not lame." Brittany laughed resting her hand on the Latina's exposed knee. "It's totally sweet."

Neither girl spoke for a few minutes as Brittany drew tiny circles with her fingers on Santana's knee and just above and underneath it. The soothing touches made Santana's eyes slip closed and she relaxed completely into the pillows.

"Tell me about New York?" Brittany asked quietly still making little shapes on the smaller girls skin.

"Mmm." Santana hummed forcing her eyes open. "I wish I could have stayed there and brought you with me. My Aunt Emesta says she wants us to go visit her and I told her we would." Santana smiled thinking about taking Brittany there. "I told her about us. I told her I was..I told her I was gay."

Brittany's eyes widened shocked. She never expected Santana to say that. Hearing Santana say the word 'gay' made Brittany realize that she'd only ever heard the Latina say the word on one or two other occasions. She remembers her saying something in Glee club about gay jokes and she remembers Santana telling her that she wasn't gay once.

"San..that's..." Brittany stumbled over her words feeling a lot of emotions at once. She was proud more than anything, proud that Santana had finally been able to tell someone other than her that she was gay. She was also shocked and happy and confused.

Santana sat up and scooted herself up so she could rest her back against Brittany's headboard. "She took it well. I mean, she didn't even care." Santana chuckled running a hand through her hair.

"Wow." Brittany grinned.

"Yeah." Santana agreed with a matching smile.

"So you _did_ get brave in New York then!" Brittany jumped up excited, positioning herself so she was closer to Santana, who's smile fell as she remembered exactly what happened in New York. "Lord Tubbington bet me his mouse collection that you wouldn't but I knew you would, San!"

Brittany noticed and her smile left her face, too.

Santana took a deep breath, feeling guilty, not able to look Brittany in the eyes.

"What is it?" Brittany asked curiously. Her heart began to beat faster thinking that Santana was going to tell her that she didn't love her anymore or that she met someone in New York she was going to go back to. The blonde forgot all about Santana saying that she wanted to take her to meet her Aunt and she forgot all about her coming back early.

"Britt, I just..." Santana didn't know how to say it but she could see that the blonde was getting more and more worried by the second. "I met this girl and er...we kinda got wasted and...we..."

"Oh." The word tumbled from Brittany's lips before Santana had finished. She was afraid to hear the rest and felt the hot sting of tears drop from her eyes onto her flushed cheeks. She hadn't cried since Santana had sung her 'Songbird' in Glee club after crying because Artie called her stupid and she was embarrassed.

"Britt." Santana choked out, shocked. She shuffled quickly from the bed and swung her legs over the edge in the same position Brittany had moved into. "I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry. I swear I don't even remember I was that wasted and I would never have done it if you didn't say that I could before you left." The words were quick and full of guilt.

Santana didn't know what to do. She was afraid to reach out and touch Brittany, afraid to hold her incase the blonde pushed her away. Santana had never felt worse or more guilty or ashamed in her life.

"Brittany, please look at me." Santana felt tears in her eyes and she blinked them away quickly. "I promise you I would never have done it if you didn't say. Please, Britt, don't let this change what we're gonna be."

Brittany took in a long shaky breath before collapsing against Santana's shoulder. Santana turned her body around and held Brittany in her arms, shaking herself with Brittany sobs. A tear fell from her eye, landing in Brittany's hair and Santana couldn't believe what she had done.

"I'm so sorry, Britt. I didn't think you'd think it was that big a deal because you..."

"I just hate thinking about you sleeping with someone else, San." Brittany mumbled against the Latina's chest, her tears having stopped.

"What?" Santana frowned pulling back a little from Brittany and tilting her head so she could see part of Brittany's face which was still pressed against her chest.

"I just hate thinking about you sleeping..." Brittany began to repeat but Santana stopped her.

"No." She shook her head horrified. "Britt, I didn't." Santana pulled Brittany's head up and held her stare.

"I don't understand." Brittany pouted.

Santana brought her hand up and dried Brittany's still wet cheeks with her fingers before scooping blonde hair back from her face. "I didn't sleep with anyone, Britt. I would never..."

"Why are we crying then?" Brittany sat up straight more confused than ever.

"I don't know..." Santana laughed and poked Brittany in the ribs making her laugh too. "You started it!" She shouted playfully.

"San..." Brittany laughed and then pouted again. "Why are you saying sorry lots of times then?"

"Because, I did meet this girl." Santana started to explain, relieved that Brittany knew that she hadn't slept with someone. She couldn't believe how glad she was that she hadn't slept with Grace after all because she didn't think she would be able to take breaking Brittany's heart like that. "Her name was Grace and it was after I told my Aunt that I was gay and I suppose I must have been on a roll or something because I told her too and we...I don't know, we talked. And one night we went to this club that I definitely have to take you to if you come to New York, and I got so drunk and we ended up at her apartment and we made out a little bit..."

Brittany started to get sad again at the thought of Santana kissing someone else but she was glad that was all she had done. Brittany had given Santana permission but she never wanted her to do anything. She couldn't say it was a big deal if she had been the one telling Santana to do it after all.

"I didn't even know what the hell was going on but when I realized what I was doing I got up and walked away and I didn't see her again. I didn't want to see her again, I just wanted to see you. That's why I'm back so early because I wanted to tell you and be honest and to see you. And I'm sorry, I wish it never happened and I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"San, you're so silly!" Brittany giggled slapping the back of her hand lightly against Santana's stomach. "You were scared to tell me that?"

"Well, yeah." Santana said seriously. "I mean, I know you said we weren't together but we still were for me and so that means I cheated on you and I thought you'd hate me and I don't know what I would do... "

"You didn't cheat on me, Santana. You'd never do that to me and I'd never do it to you. And of course I don't hate you, honey. You scared me!" Brittany laughed and pulled Santana into her arms, holding her tightly.

"Fucking hell." Santana grinned, feeling stupid.

"Are we okay?" Brittany asked kissing Santana's hair and getting some in her mouth. She tried to flick it away and move but it wouldn't work. Luckily, when Santana pulled back from the hug her hair went with her and Brittany's mouth was free of Santana hair.

"Are we?" Santana shot back wanting to know the answer herself.

"Yeah." Brittany smiled after a few seconds.

The two girls laughed about it and settled back into Brittany's bed, leaning against the headboard with Santana's head tucked under Brittany's chin. They stayed silent, just wanting to be in each others company after those weeks apart. After a while, Santana dozed off and Brittany slid away from her and let the sleeping Latina rest in her bed. Brittany knew she was tired.

While Santana slept, Brittany went about tidying her bedroom as quietly as possible. She had been planning to do so before Santana returned but didn't get a chance to yet. When all of her things were put away neatly and Lord Tubbington was snoring by Santana's feet on the bed, Brittany got out the vacuum cleaner and wondered whether or not it would wake either of them.

Brittany decided that it would but also that Lord Tubbington slept most of the day anyway so he wouldn't mind. The blonde had an idea to keep Santana asleep while she vacuumed so she climbed onto her bed and straddled Santana's thighs, grabbing two of her favorite stuffed ducks from her chair and pushed them to the Santana's ears. Brittany was about to climb of the smaller girl and go find tape to hold them together when Santana's eyes fluttered open, alarmed.

"What are you doing?" Santana moaned groggily.

"Trying not to wake you." Brittany pouted. She had woken Santana up without even turning the vacuum on.

"Well it looks like you're trying to suffocate me with ducks!" Santana chuckled sitting up on her elbows looking up at the blonde.

Brittany rested her weight on Santana's thighs and looked at her confused. "What is suffocate?" She asked curiously.

"Doesn't matter. " Santana shook her head with a grin. "Do you know what else I've missed?" Santana smirked going back to the conversation they had only an hour or so ago.

"No." Brittany smiled, biting her lip but both she and Santana knew what she was talking about.

Santana brought her hands up as far as she could in the position she was in and rested them on the side of Brittany's thighs. Her fingers started trailing lightly up and down and she held Brittany's gaze as they did so.

"Guess." Santana smirked, drawing a little heart with her finger on Brittany's clothed leg.

"Did you miss..." Brittany looked up and to her left pretending to think. "Giving me massages?"

Santana shook her head smiling.

"Did you miss...practicing dance moves with me?"

Santana shook her head.

"Did you miss...reading my Disney books to me?"

Santana shook her head, her fingers going slightly higher up Brittany's thigh.

"Did you miss...Lord Tubbington?"

Santana shook her head and Brittany pouted. She didn't believe the Latina. Brittany knew that no matter how much Santana pretended to hate her cat, she actually thought he was super cute and she loved him deep down.

"Did you...?" Brittany began to ask again but she was stopped.

Santana pushed herself up with a grunt causing Brittany to jump back a little surprised so she was face to face with the blonde sitting on her thighs. Both girls grinned, just staring at each other.

"I missed our sweet lady kissed." Santana whispered and before Brittany had a chance to respond, Santana's lips were on hers.

It made Brittany's stomach flutter and her heart melt like an ice-cream cone left out in the sunshine, she thought. She could smell the smaller girl suddenly, the sweet scent of cherries crawled up her nostrils and then she tasted cherries on her lips. Santana always tasted so sweet. Brittany rose up slowly from Santana's thighs, never leaving Santana's mouth. She pushed the Latina back into the sheets of her bed and went down slowly on top of her. Santana's fingers tangled in Brittany's hair and she held her in place against her mouth, her free hand going to grip Brittany's hip.

"San." Brittany pulled back from the kiss for a quick second to whisper the other girls name.

Santana bent her left knee and Brittany's body rested between her legs, the blonde pushing down onto her.

Brittany could feel Santana's hand on her hip holding her tightly against her body and she wondered why the smaller girl hadn't tried to switch positions so she was on top yet. The Latina's tongue swept past Brittany's lips and then she was in heaven. There was nothing better than kissing Brittany, Santana decided. Having sex with the taller girl was so unbelievable that Santana still hadn't come up with a word to describe it yet but just kissing her was that feeling times a million. Santana couldn't control the way her hips rose up from the bed to connect with Brittany's and she couldn't help the soft moan that escaped her lips when she did.

Brittany tore her mouth away, gasping slightly for air.

"What's wrong?" Santana asked quickly unsure of what it was she did wrong. Both of her hands came up to the back of Brittany's head to play with the soft blonde hair there as she waited for an answer.

"We can't, Sanny." Brittany sighed staring at the Latina underneath her who rolled her eyes and then frowned.

"Why not, Britt? Didn't you miss our sweet lady kisses?" Santana felt herself smile.

"I did miss our sweet lady kisses." Brittany whispered. "But my mom and dad are right downstairs and they always come in to check on me, you know that. Also, I'm supposed to be vacuuming. They're going to wonder why the vacuum cleaner isn't talking yet."

Santana couldn't help the giggle that came out. Brittany was adorable.

"Fine, okay." Santana sighed, still smiling. "What time is it anyway?"

Brittany slipped out from between the Latina's legs and made her way to her bedroom window. Santana watched with a frown and raised eyebrows as Brittany pushed the window open and stuck her head out. After a few seconds she came back in and closed the window again, turning to Santana.

"It's about..." Brittany looked up to her left. "A quarter to 10."

Santana opened her mouth to say something, ask why Brittany knew but instead she sat up and reached for her cell phone on the bed a few inches away from her.

It read: 21:44

Santana's eyes went a little wide. "How the hell did you know that?" Santana asked amazed.

"The owls." Brittany answered with that familiar look on her face that said 'duh' and 'what the fuck' at the same time.

Santana knew better than to question what Brittany had said. She had no idea what the blonde was talking about and asking Brittany to explain would only confuse the smaller girl further.

"Umm...anyway." Santana got off the bed and found her shoes, putting them on. "I better go."

"Okay." Brittany smiled at her and walked towards her.

When Santana's jacket and shoes were back on, she leaned towards the blonde for a kiss but Brittany tilted her head away.

"My mom and dad are going to Uncle Fred's girlfriends charity thing on Friday." Brittany told the Latina.

"Ew." Santana scrunched up her nose, disgusted. "Perverted Uncle Fred?" She asked.

Brittany nodded and pulled the same face. "So...anyway he lives like 2 hours away."

Santana didn't catch onto what Brittany was saying and just shrugged.

"So..." Brittany sighed, smiling. "They will have to stay there until tomorrow because it doesn't finish until like 11."

Santana was about to shrug again when she realized what Brittany was trying to say. "Oh." She smirked.

"Yeah." Brittany grinned and took both of Santana's hands in her own, pulling her closer.

"I'll see you Friday then?" Santana asked. "I have to do a lot tomorrow. My mom wants us to spend time together or something and Quinn and I are good again, so we thought we'd hang out for a while. You can come if you want?" Santana offered pressing her forehead against the blonds with a smile.

"No, it's okay. I have to look after PJ tomorrow for my cousin and I think you should spend time with your mom and with Quinn." Brittany shrugged.

"Okay, can I have you for the rest of the summer starting Friday then?" Santana bit her lip.

"Definitely." Brittany beamed and leaned forward to kiss Santana.

"I found my cell, by the way." Brittany said when Santana pulled away. "Lord Tubbington was hiding it, I didn't take it to the pool after all. So, will you text me tomorrow?"

Santana smiled, glad she finally knew what happened to the cell phone and she nodded.

"Okay!"

"Love you, Britt." Santana said quietly leaning back in Brittany's open bedroom door.

"Love you, San." Brittany giggled and gave a little wave. "Wait." She called before Santana disappeared. "We're like girlfriends now then?"

"Yeah, B, we are." Santana nodded. Brittany laughed shyly and Santana smirked before heading off down the hallway, happier than she had been in a very long time.

In her bedroom, Brittany flopped onto the bed squealing, hugging Lord Tubbington tightly to her chest. She was happier than she had been in a long time too.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: I Wear A Halo When You Look At Me - Chapter Three

Pairing: Brittana

Rating: PG-13 (I think)

Summary: Santana decides to stay in New York after Nationals to help her get the courage to come out and then she comes out with Brittany right beside her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the Characters I've used.

Spoilers: None (I think)

Santana arrived outside the Fabray home just after 12 o'clock. She pulled into the driveway, switched off the engine which cut the music she was playing out and pushed her sunglasses onto her face to shield her eyes from the sunlight.

Santana pressed the doorbell and leaned against the wall to her left, waiting to be invited inside.

"Hey." Quinn greeted her, a little awkwardly as she opened the door.

"Hey." Santana replied standing straight up before her and tugging her sunglasses down her nose and folding them in her hand.

"Come in." The blonde haired girl gestured for Santana to enter, stepping aside and then closing the door behind the Latina when she did.

Santana had never liked the way Quinn's house was decorated. It was much too old-fashioned and dull for her but she had met Quinn's parents and it suited them, mainly her father who had left now so Santana didn't really understand why the house hadn't been changed. Quinn led them up the staircase and down the hall towards her bedroom which was the only half-decent looking room in the house, Santana thought.

The girls hadn't really been friends recently, they had grown apart but they felt something spark between them again in New York that made them realize why they had been friends in the first place. They had both changed an awful lot since their earlier days at McKinley High but one thing that hadn't changed and one thing they had in common was that they were both still bitches.

Santana knew that there was a softer side to herself that only ever really came out around Brittany and those very few people she trusted. In New York, the Latina had witnessed a softer, more vulnerable side to Quinn that she could relate to. Quinn had broken down in front of her and Brittany and told them that all she wanted was to be loved. Santana, although she never admitted it, wanted them same but the only person she wanted that love from was Brittany. Now that the Latina knew she _had_ Brittany she felt bad for Quinn who just lost her boyfriend to Rachel Berry, the girl Quinn had despised since first laying eyes on.

"You're room's changed." Santana noted, trailing her fingertips across a large white chair in the corner of Quinn's bedroom.

"Yeah." Quinn nodded. "It's been awhile since you've been here."

An awkward silence fell again. Santana felt uncomfortable because she didn't know where to sit or what to do with herself. She decided to just go for it, much like she had in New York when telling Grace she was gay, it seemed to work quite well so far.

"Are you still angry?" The dark haired girl asked.

Quinn scoffed and shook her head. "I'm less angry than I was but still..."

"You know in New York when you told Britt and I all that stuff?" Santana asked moving closer to the blonde who sat down on the edge of a white desk across from her bed.

"You said that you just wanted someone to love you?" Santana went on when Quinn didn't speak. "This is gross for me to even say, not just about you but about anyone, and I know you didn't mean it in this kinda way but I think I could have loved you. You obviously don't know this but I was jealous of you and I adored you. You were what I wanted to be and because you kind of threw all of that in my face, all that like and admiration I had for you kind of turned into hate."

Quinn didn't know what to say. She didn't want to look Santana in they eye because of what she was saying. Quinn didn't have any idea that Santana admired her and 'adored' her, in fact she thought that Santana was the only person who didn't.

"Wow." Quinn whispered and Santana chuckled.

"You know I'm just gonna get all of this soppy shit out of the way all in one go so you might forget _some_ of it." The darker girl laughed. "I think if a lot of things didn't happen we could be real good friends right now and I know that that's something neither of us really have; good friends."

"You have Brittany." Quinn cut in. "That's something I've always envied about you Santana. No matter how much of a jerk you were you always had someone right by your side willing to put up with it all."

"You could have had her too. I mean, Britt loves everyone, she even still loves you. Just because you and I weren't friends didn't mean you two had to stop being." Santana explained remembering how upset the dancer had been when Quinn had stopped talking to them.

"Yeah." Quinn half laughed, half sighed.

"She missed hanging out with you, Q. I did too." Santana admitted and she saw Quinn hide a small smile.

"You know, I don't know how I never realized about you two." Quinn laughed at herself. She glanced up at Santana who looked like she was about to play dumb and so she continued quickly. "Don't bother, S. I _know_."

Santana closed her mouth waiting for Quinn to say something else.

"She's always loved you, Santana. You've always had_ her_. No one's ever love me like that, that much."

"That's cause the person you went and fell in love with was Finn." Santana scoffs. "I don't think that giant ass is capable of loving anyone properly. And the Puck got you knocked up and then Sam..." Santana trailed off.

"Fuck we've always had the same guys." Santana mumbled and Quinn burst out into laughter.

"To be fair, I had them all first." She smirked at the Latina who shrugged and smiled.

"Yeah well, you're lucky I don't care about that anymore 'cause I got Bri-." Santana stopped herself before she said the girls name.

Quinn shook her head at the Latina. "Santana, I _know_!" She sighed frustrated. "I've known you two were hooking up since we started having those sleep overs after joining Cheerio's! Which by the way, ew and thank you for scaring me for life."

Santana blushed but pretended not to be embarrassed by what the blonde was saying.

"I just never realized that it was more than that until you vomited all of your lesbian all over the place when you guys sang 'Landslide' to each other. You seriously thought everyone else thought you were just best friends after singing_ that _to each other? You were crying."

"Hey, fuck you!" Santana snapped taking Quinn's comments as an insult.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "And if you think about it, it's pretty obvious anyway. I think Brittany is the only person at our school you haven't physically assaulted or verbally abused."

Santana's face softened at Quinn's words. She knew it was true and she couldn't deny it.

"Well..." Santana didn't have anything to say but she had to say something to stop her feeling so awkward.

"You really love her?" Quinn asked.

Santana stared at the other girl for a long moment before nodding her head.

"So...what are you then?" Quinn was curious to know. The blonde knew that Santana must be into guys after seeing her all over a hell of a lot of them in the past but now that she was in love with Brittany, Quinn wasn't sure.

Santana shrugged at the question, not wanting to answer, not sure if she could trust Quinn.

"I wont tell anyone, Santana. If you're not ready, that's okay but...If we're going to be friends again I think we should trust each other." Quinn spoke softly and comfortingly. The blonde was genuinely interested in building a relationship back up with the Latina again.

Santana searched Quinn's eyes for a good minute before sighing and dropping her gaze to the floor.

"I'm...I'm gay, Quinn." The Latina lifted her head and exhaled the words in a confident voice.

"Gay?" Quinn questioned immediately, more than shocked.

"I'm not going to re-live the horrors that were Puckerman and Finn and all those other guys to explain this to you but...yeah, I am." Santana's voice was still confident. She was proud of herself, she was slowly but surely coming out and honestly, it felt wonderful.

"Okay." Quinn nodded accepting what Santana was saying despite being shocked by it, she had expected Santana to say she was bisexual or that it was just Brittany but in a way Quinn understood. "Can I ask what Brittany...?"

"Ugh." Santana sighed. "She's bi-curious or something. I think she means bisexual."

Quinn nodded again, feeling a little uncomfortable by the silence that fell between them.

"Don't say anything, will you?" Santana asked quietly. "I don't want anyone else finding out yet."

"Oh." Quinn responded her mind immediately going to Santana's father who she knew from only knowing the man for a short-period of time, or rather from only being in his presence for a short period of time that he would be less than happy when Santana told him."Sure."

Santana knew that Quinn must know about how her father would feel. The blonde had met him on just a few occasions but somehow he had managed to voice his opinions on the subject when Quinn could hear. Quinn said nothing more about it thinking that she would either just make Santana angry or upset.

"So do you want to do something?" Quinn asked hesitantly. "Like watch a movie or..?"

"Sure." Santana shrugged.

"I have rules though," Quinn smirked and Santana raised an eyebrow. "Considering that you're now a lesbian and you therefore must be attracted to me because I'm a girl..."

Quinn burst out laughing unable to continue but not needing to for the Latina to get that it was a joke.

"Fuck you, Fabray!" Santana smirked and for the first time since entering the house she felt relaxed and comfortable.

The Latina sat down on Quinn's bed while Quinn got the movie ready. The blonde was still giggling about what she had said and the way Santana had reacted. Santana was relieved that Quinn hadn't thrown her out considering she was a Christian and all but then again, the she had no problem with Kurt or at least no bigger problems with him than she had with anyone else.

As both girls settled back on Quinn's bed to watch the movie, they smiled at each other, knowing that their friendship would be a hard one to maintain but both were more than willing to work on it.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Excuse my Spanish in this chapter and the chapters to come - I don't speak a word of it and translated it all. So, sorry for any mistakes or if I randomly start talking about something or no relevance...Also, thank you for all the favourites and alerts :)  
><strong>

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><p><em>"Mami<em>?" Santana peeked her head into the kitchen searching for her mom. She had left Quinn's at around 4 and then took the long way home to think. She didn't know if she could tell her mom yet, she wanted to more than anything but she didn't know if she could.

"Oh,_ Mija_." Santana's mom came in, an apron wrapped around her body and a cook book in her hand. "I was beginning to worry."

"Sorry, _Mami_." Santana mumbled and walked slowly over to the counter beside her mother.

"I've not seen that twinkle in your eye for a while, novio." Rosa beamed almost proudly. The older Latina didn't take her eyes off of her daughter for a long time which made Santana blush.

Rosa had known that there was something wrong with Santana for a while and after asking the Latina on several occasions and being shot down each time, she decided that her daughter would tell her if she wanted to and only if she wanted to.

"What are you making?" Santana tried to change the subject much to Rosa's amusement.

"Tortilla Española" Rosa smiled and Santana frowned at the cook book in her hand, wondering why she needed a book to know how to make that. "I was looking for things to make for when your Abuela visits tomorrow." Rosa explained.

"Tomorrow?" Santana asked her eyes going wider. Rosa nodded. "Mami, I've made plans with Brittany for tomorrow." She complained.

"Dios mio." Rosa sighed throwing her hands up in the air. "Since when were you two speaking again?"

Santana looked to the floor. "We didn't stop speaking." She mumbled not wanting to have to discuss it.

"Well, you stopped brining her over." Rosa argued. "Every Friday night she used to come here for dinner and then no, she just stopped."

"I know, Mami. We were still speaking though." Santana sighed. "Look, I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay, Mija. All I'm saying though is that I missed her, she used to be like my other daughter. And I'm glad you two are friends again."

"So, I've made plans with her." Santana repeated impatiently when Rosa turned back to the food she was making.

"You can see Brittany any time you want, querida." Rosa was getting just as impatient as her daughter. "Your Abuela hasn't seen you for a very long time and she will only be visiting until Saturday."

"Then I'll have the whole of Friday and Saturday with her!" Santana moaned frustrated. She would keep trying to worm her way out of it but she knew it wouldn't happen.

"Santana." Rosa warned.

"Mami, please! It's not like I wont see her." Santana continued.

"I don't see what you need to visit Brittany so badly for tomorrow. If you're so eager to see her then invite her round for dinner with us. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to come."

Santana sighed defeated. She couldn't exactly argue that she wouldn't be able to have sex with Brittany if she came over or that tomorrow would be the only time they could get alone to spend with each other.

"Fine." Santana grumbled and sulked out of the kitchen to get her cell phone so she could ask Brittany.

"Oh, now you're going to mope!" Rosa yelled after her playfully. Santana didn't laugh.

She pulled her cell phone out of her jacket pocket and scrolled down in her contact list to Brittany's name. She typed the text quickly and hit send. With a sigh and imagining Brittany's disappointed face when she read the text, Santana sat down on the third stair and leaned her head against the wall. 

_**SENT: 17:16**_

_**Britt im rlly sorry but i cnt come over tmorow. my mom is making me stay home coz my grandma is visitng x**_

It seemed like forever before her cell buzzed indicating that she received a text and Santana fumbled with the phone to read it. 

**_RECEIVED: 17:19_**

**_aww :( no sweet lady kisses for me? i wnted 2 c u 2morow! xxxxxx_**

Santana's heart sank at the words. She genuinely felt guilty and shitty for disappointing Brittany; something she had decided she would never do again after she returned from New York. Santana typed her apology quickly and invited Brittany to dinner. 

**_SENT: 17:20_**

**_i no, Britt. im rlly sorry. i tried 2 get out of it. my mom says u can come over if u wnt 2 for dinner? x_**

Her phone vibrated a few seconds later and she felt herself smile at what Brittany had written and the fact that the blond got over her not being able to see her the way she had planned quite quickly. 

_**RECEIVED: 17:21**_

_**okay! i missed ur mom, did she miss me? im gld i dnt have to make dinner on my own 2morrow. xxxxxx**_

Santana's grin grew as she replied.

**_SENT: 17:22_**

**_yea, she missed u 2 :( you can sleep over rather thn b home by ur self, okay? x  
><em>**

Rosa called Santana into the kitchen, telling her that dinner was ready and she got up slowly, cell phone still in hand and made her way to the kitchen, happier now that when she had sulked out. Santana took a seat at the table and waited impatiently for Brittany to text her back.

_**RECEIVED: 17:29**_

_**Ok San! i think i frget wer ur house is tho :( xxxx**_

Santana read the message and frowned. The blonde had visited her house countless times yet she still couldn't make her way there on her own. She text back straight away, something she never did with anyone else. Usually, just as a game, she would wait an entire 5 minutes to reply to someone's text and in that time they usually sent her a text to make sure she had read the first one. Even when she used to sext Puck she'd make him wait the entire 5 minutes, it wasn't like she was getting off on it or anything anyway so why not?

_**SENT: 17:29**_

_**dnt worry, B, I'll cme pik u up. wen will i get u? wat time ? x  
><strong>_

The Latina grinned when she was the smiley face Brittany had put in the text and all the kisses at the end too.

_**RECEIVED: 17:30**_

_**wenever u wnt, san :( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

Santana returned the smiley face and typed her response, hitting send.

_**SENT: 17:31**_

_**:) ok, i'll get up at abt 1? x**_

Santana's mom giggled at her when she grinned at her phone upon receiving the text. Rosa didn't know what her daughter was smiling at exactly but she loved the way that whatever it was lit up her eyes. She suspected it was a message from a boy but she supposed she'd never know and she knew better than to ask her daughter who would probably go in a bad mood about her not respecting her privacy.

_**RECEIVED: 17:34**_

_**oky! love u :) xxxx**_

It made Santana feel embarrassed that a simple text could make her entire day. She imagined Brittany smiling the way she had as she responded.

_**SENT: 17:36**_

_**Love u 2 Britt :) x**_

The next text the Latina received made her laugh out loud and her mother turned around from where she was putting the food onto plates to give her daughter a smirk. Santana ducked her head down, trying not to let her mother see her blush.

_**RECEIVED: 17:37**_

_**i like it wen u call me baby :) xxxx**_

Santana sent the text again, this time doing as Brittany wished. She pressed send and sighed happily. 

_**SENT: 17:39**_

_**lol. love u 2 BABY ;) x**_

Just as Santana pressed 'send', her younger brother popped up behind her and snatched the phone from her hand. Santana panicked instantly jumping back from her chair, her eyes wide, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

"Javier!" Santana roared, her chair crashing to the floor behind her as she bolted after him.

The 13 year old darted past the table laughing, the phone in front of his face, doing God knows what with it.

"Poco idiota!" She bellowed nearly falling to the floor as she ran after him.

Julian Lopez grabbed his son by his shirt and stopped him, trying to hid a smirk. Javier looked up at his dad, grinning and out of breath. Santana tried to grab him to beat him to a pulp but her father stepped between them, his hand raised trying to stop her.

"Calmare, Mija." Julian laughed at his daughter trying to protect the boy behind him. "Give me the phone, Javier and apologize to your hermana."

Javier handed the phone to the older man and mumbled, a not so sincere 'sorry' before making his way back to the table, pushing into Santana on the way but the Latina was far too focused on her cell phone being in her fathers hands to be bother by it. She heard it buzz, indicating that she had received a text message and she knew it would be from Brittany. Julian glanced at the phone, then at his daughter then back at the phone.

"Here you go, Mija." He smiled and passed it to her. Santana could have died with how relieved she was.

"Thank you, Papi." She tried to make her voice sound not so scared as she moved back to the table and opened the message. 

_**RECEIVED: 17:40**_

_**have a gd night, BABY :) ino u like it 2 haha ;)**_

Santana left it at that and before she started on her dinner she set her cell phone so there was a password lock on it, something she should have probably done years ago.

"Thank you, Mami." Santana said politely before tucking into her food.

Javier kicked her under the table. Twice.

"Knock it off." She warned , her eyes narrowed, through gritted teeth.

He looked away but a few minutes later her delivered another hard kick to her shin.

"I told you to fucking knock it off!" She spat kicking him twice as hard right back. She knew it was childish but he had just spoiled her good mood and she couldn't be bother with the younger boy right now.

"Santana!" Her mother warned, giving her a stern look.

"You two had better behave when your grandmother arrives here tomorrow." Julian sighed wiping at his mouth with a napkin.

Santana knew that if she had Brittany to distract her then she wouldn't even be giving her brother a second look tomorrow.

"Oh, Julian, Brittany is joining us for dinner tomorrow." Rosa smiled across the table to her husband.

"Oh, really?" Julian looked at Santana, smiling just like his wife. "I haven't seen her in such a long time, I'm glad."

"Me too." Javier smirked. "She's hot."

Santana bit her tongue. It was a well know fact to anyone with eyes that Brittany was stunning and gorgeous and beautiful but Santana hated it when someone other than herself said she was 'hot' or 'smokin' or any words like that. The Latina didn't like it when guys who only wanted Brittany for one thing would make a comment like that about her. She wouldn't have minded if they had enough respect to at least call her beautiful but to Santana 'hot' implied that all they wanted to do was sleep with her and drool all over her. She knew that her brother meant it that way and despite Santana knowing that it didn't really matter because he was so young and would never have a chance with Brittany anyway, she couldn't hold her tongue.

"Shut up." She spat trying to remain as calm as possible.

"What?" He looked at her innocently but she could see the smirk in his eyes. "She is. She has totally hot legs and one time..."

"I said 'shut up'." Santana shouted viciously and he fell silent immediately.

Javier would wind his sister up endlessly but he knew when enough was enough. He knew that when Santana got the look in her eyes that she had right now, he had gone to far and he had to shut his mouth.

"Santana is right, Javier." Julian looked to his son. "That is disrespectful."

Santana's mother was looking at her funny and Santana tried to look away but her mother held her gaze. The two 'men' at the table didn't seem to really notice or find anything unusual about the way Santana protected her 'friend' but the look in Rosa's eye told Santana that she had.

Santana tore her eyes away from her mother's and looked back up after a few seconds to find that, much to her relief, she had looked away. 

After dinner was finished, Javier was made to clear up and her father went into his study to do whatever 'doctory' stuff he had to do.

Santana had slumped down on the couch in the living room and was watching the wide screen television on the wall opposite her. The news was on, something which Santana always found interesting but like a lot of other things, she would never admit that to anyone who didn't catch her watching it.

"Are you okay, Mija?" Rosa asked sitting down beside her daughter.

"I'm fine." Santana didn't turn her gaze away from the television.

"One minute your can't take the smile off your face and then the next you want to kill everyone." Rosa chuckled lightly. Santana's eyes remained on the television although she couldn't concentrate on what was going on anymore.

"Is it a boy?" Rosa asked and Santana could tell she was nervous.

Nervous wasn't the word to describe how Santana felt at that moment, though. She felt sick, scared, terrified, insecure and light headed. She swallowed the lump in her throat in a loud gulp. Rosa noticed.

This was it, Santana thought. This was her chance to say it. She had told Dave and Brittany, Emesta, Lily and Gabriella, Grace and now Quinn. Surely she was brave enough now to tell her own mother.

"I..." Santana turned to face the woman with tears stinging in her eyes. She'd never been so afraid in her life.

Rosa waited, concerned, for her daughter to continue.

Time seemed to stop completely for Santana who could only hear the beating of her heart loud in her ears; she was sure she was going to throw up.

"Nothing, Mami." She finally croaked and her mothers shoulders fell.

"Okay, Mija." She sighed, laying her hand on Santana's thigh. "I'll be here whenever you're ready to tell me."

Santana knew her mother knew something was wrong. It took a lot of strength for the Latina not to breakdown right there in front of Rosa and luckily for her, the older Latina stood up and with a small smile, she left her daughter alone.

Santana couldn't remember crying in front of someone who wasn't Brittany and she didn't think she ever would. She only trusted Brittany to see her at her weakest.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Thank you for the favuorites :) Let me know what you guys think. Again, sorry for any bad Spanish and thank you for reading.

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><p><strong>SENT: 12:57<strong>

**im outside, Britt :) x**

Santana hit send then stuffed her cell phone back into her pocket. The Latina turned the music down slightly in the car so she would be able to talk to Brittany when she came in. It had been a long day for Santana already; she had to help tidy the house and get the guest bedroom sorted out. Her father was working at the hospital late tonight and he'd left early this morning so Santana had to go pick up some stuff for dinner at the store. Luckily she was able to make it to Brittany's on time to pick her up.

Santana glanced out of the window and saw her girlfriend bumping a suitcase down the stairs leading to her gate. She grinned and quickly hopped out of the car to go help.

"Hey." Brittany greeted the smaller girl when she saw her coming towards her.

Santana laughed. "Britt, you do know you're only staying tonight, right?" She was only half joking.

"I'm aware." Brittany giggled and let Santana take the handle of the suitcase. She watched embarrassed as the Latina pushed the handle down and grabbed it to carry instead.

Brittany went on to explain to Santana that she had brought 'a bunch of fun things' for them to do. Santana didn't question it any further, instead putting the rather heavy suitcase into the trunk of her car and climbing in where Brittany sat waiting.

"Are your parents gone yet?" Santana asked buckling her seat belt. Brittany nodded and Santana pulled out of her spot and started to drive down the street, back the way she had come.

"You know I was hanging out with Quinn, yesterday?" Santana looked at Brittany briefly as she drove.

"Uh-hu."Brittany nodded her head and shifted in her seat so she could look at her girlfriend without straining her neck.

"I told her. About me." Santana bit her lip to hide her grin. "About us. I told her I was gay."

"San!" The blonde squealed excited. "What did she say?"

"She was really cool with it. We talked a whole bunch and she told me she missed you and she missed hanging out with us." Santana explained, making Brittany even more excited.

"I told you Quinn wasn't a bipolar!" Brittany clapped her hands.

Santana rolled her eyes, amused. "Okay, first Britt, please do not tell her that I said she was bipolar. And if you're going to call someone it, it's not 'a bipolar' babe, it's just bipolar."

Brittany nodded. "Okay, babe." The taller girl grinned as she said babe, liking the way it sounded.

"I thought it was 'baby' you liked." Santana smirked.

"I like anything you call me but those two are my favourites." Brittany said seriously.

"Okay, well - " Santana slammed her foot on the break quickly as a truck pulled out of nowhere, nearly smashing into the front of her car. "You fucking dick!" She shouted.

Brittany's eyes went wide as the driver backed up.

"Fucking moron!" Santana shouted out of the window and the driver flipped her off. She reached for her seat belt, ready to jump out and smash his car to pieces.

"San!" Brittany pulled her arm, looking terrified. "Please, don't."

Santana growled, thought for a second then drove her car away quickly before she changed her mind.

"Are you okay?" Brittany rubbed the Latina's arm, concerned.

"Si." Santana shook her head. "I mean yes, yes, I'm fine."

"You're kind of worked up, you look really mad." Brittany said innocently.

"No, I'm fine, I promise." Santana shrugged turning to smile briefly at the blonde. "It's just...I am a little worked up lately." Santana shook her head and her face crumpled in disgust at the thought of what she was about to say. She didn't believe it. "Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten laid?"

Brittany stiffled a giggle. "Oh."

"Sorry." The Latina quickly laughed not wanting Brittany to feel uncomfortable or awkward. "But seriously, it's been like 2 months."

"Really?" Brittany asked surprised. "When was the last..."

"Months ago, it was before we sang Landslide with Miss Holiday." Santana blushed. "It was before I told you how I felt."

"That's a really long time, especially for you." Brittany mumbled shocked.

Santana shot her a 'that's true but you didn't have to say it' look. "Yeah, so you can see why I'm a little...you know."

"I haven't for a long time either." Brittany admitted.

"Really?" The Latina swallowed, not sure if she wanted to hear what Brittany was going to say.

"Yeah. The last time was with Artie a few weeks before you sang me 'Songbird'. I stopped sleeping with him because of how I felt about you, I couldn't do that to either of you."

Santana literally felt like vomiting when Brittany spoke about Artie especially when she thought about the two of the having sex. The Latina's chest tightened.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have..." Brittany said quickly noticing the change in Santana's face.

"It's okay. That's...done now, we don't have to talk about it. It was me who brought it up."

"Okay."

"Anyway, I'm probably extra worked up today because we were actually supposed to get our sweet lady kisses on tonight and now we can't." Santana grumbled.

"Hmm..." Brittany thought for a second. "Well, you could pull up somewhere quite and we could do it in the backseat like we used to."

"God, please do not tempt me." The Latina whispered.

Brittany shrugged not really understanding.

"I...I don't want the first time we, like, have sex...as a couple to be a quickie in the backseat of my car before we have dinner with my grandma." She explained, her cheeks hot.

"Me either." Brittany smiled at her, sitting her hand on top of Santana's for a moment to squeeze it gently. "It was a dumb thing to say."

"Britt." Santana sighed, turning to look at the blond.

"I'm sorry. I keep forgetting." She said shyly.

"It's okay, babe." Santana turned her hand over so she could hold Brittany's. "You're not dumb, saying that wasn't dumb, okay?"

Brittany nodded.

The rest of the drive back to Santana's was filled with music and Brittany singing along, something Santana would usually find annoying with any other passenger but she thought Brittany was adorable. Santana parked in the driveway and got Brittany's suitcase out of the trunk, dragging it for her girlfriend to the door.

"Looks like she's here." Santana grumbled noticing the car in front of her own.

The two girls made their way inside the house, Santana leaving the suitcase at the bottom of the stairs before leading Brittany into the front room where she heard everyone talking excitedly.

"Oh, Santana." She heard the unfamiliar voice greet. Her grandma was sat on the couch next to her mother, looking much younger than the age she actually was. Santana couldn't help notice, though, how ugly the old woman's dress was and she had to stop herself from grimacing at the sight of it.

"Hi." Santana smiled unenthusiastically. Her mother rolled her eyes and motioned for her to come join them.

"Who's this?" Lilia, Santana's grandma asked looking behind Santana to Brittany who stood, grinning.

"Um." Santana turned to the taller girl and grinned before dipping her head back to her grandma. "This is my friend Brittany."

"Brittany." Lilia chuckled and gave a small wave to which Brittany waved back excited. "Come, let me see you."

Brittany looked nervously to Santana who rolled her eyes and smiled, and Brittany skipped over to the woman with a bright grin.

"I'm just gonna go take Britt's stuff upstairs. I'll be back soon, Abuela." Santana ducked her head and exited the room with a sigh. The Latina dragged Brittany's suitcase to her bedroom where she threw it down on top of her bed and then fell back into the sheets beside it.

The Latina drifted off into a deep sleep in her position and was woken a few hours later by a tapping on the door. She sat upright, cursing herself for falling asleep when she had no intentions of doing so before jumping up off the bed and swinging her bedroom door open.

"Mom says it's time for dinner." Javier sighed leaning his head against the door frame, his arms crossed.

Santana was surprised to find her brother on the other side of the door because she was expecting someone who actually had the respect for her privacy.

"Since when did you knock?" She mumbled pushing past him to get into the hallway.

"Since you snapped my DS in half when you caught me in your bedroom without permission like a month ago." Javier pushed against Santana's back as her followed behind her. The Latina shoved him back as hard as she could without actually turning around, with a smirk on her face. She'd actually made him cry when she broke his stupid game. The older girl had walked into her room after school and found Javier sitting lazily on the floor by her bed, playing his game. After an argument and several slaps from Santana the Latina had yanked the game from the boy and bent it so it snapped. She tossed the pieces out of the door and shoved her crying brother out after them. Of course she got grounded for it but she snuck out to a party that same night anyway.

Dinner dragged on for Santana who was getting a headache and wasn't at all enjoying the food her mother had cooked, but she didn't complain about it. Her grandmother asked her about school and her stay in New York and her singing but she was more interested in whatever conversation it was she was having with Brittany. Santana was glad that Brittany and her grandmother liked each other, but she supposed that there wasn't really anyone who didn't like the blonde.

After dinner, Santana had to stay and talk with everyone for a while, eventually saying she had to go for a shower to get away. The warm water on her skin and head and then sweet smell of the shampoo she used made her feel better and after getting out and dressed in a pair of shorts and a black tank top and drying her hair, Santana's headache had vanished.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall and listening to the music coming from the speakers attached to her iPod, Santana felt her cell phone vibrate against her leg and she picked it up to see a text from Quinn.

**RECEIVED: 21:07**

**School next week, Puck called to invite us to party at his next saturday as a "saying goodbye to summer" kind of thing. You guys want to go? x**

Santana frowned at her phone and then smiled and then smirked. It was funny how Quinn always said things like "you guys" when she text Santana, even before she officially knew about The Latina and the blonde being a couple and back when they were closer. Santana quite liked knowing that everyone else knew they came together as a pair whether they were actually a couple or not. Santana sighed and then shuffled back onto her bed so she could lie back and then she started to flicker through picture on her phone, automatically knowing that she was going to wait to text Quinn back. She never really did it deliberately anymore, she just knew that it wasn't Brittany she was texting and so she knew she didn't have to text back straight away.

**SENT: 21:11**

**yea cause puckerman's face is what i want to see on the last weekend of summer. whatever tho, if there's alcohol, we're there. it might b fun. you going?**

Santana sent the text and then waited for a reply. She wondered what the hell Brittany was up to downstairs and felt a shot of panic as she thought about Brittany accidentally slipping up about them being together. She decided that she trusted that the blonde wouldn't but she'd go and check on her soon just in case.

**RECEIVED: 21:14**

**lol i kno. there will be alcohol, it's pucks party. we should bring some just incase anyway, i will. are we going to hang out again this week or... x**

She grinned at Quinn's reply and was more glad than ever that they were sorting out their friendship again.

**SENT: 21:20**

**sure, i can get some. i was thinkin the 3 of us should do something, go to the beach or smethig, just like whatever we used to do.  
><strong>

**RECEIVED: 21:22**

**okay, we should :) whatever day is good, im not doing much anyway. and you just want 2 go 2 the beach to see half-naked girls ;) x**

Santana choked on a giggle when she read the text, surprised at Quinn. It was a nice feeling though, that she and Quinn could make jokes about that because they were both comfortable with Santana's sexuality and Santana knew that Quinn wasn't trying to hurt her with her jokes or be offensive.

Santana smirked as she remembered that Brittany would be at the beach with them when they went and really, she would be the only half-naked person that Santana was going to be interested in. That thought brought back a memory of the previous summer that made Santana cringe and blush and she decided she didn't want to be the only one remembering it so she reminded Quinn.

**SENT: 21:25**

**haha, fabray :) maybe thts why you agreed to go, or maybe its just cause Britt's gonna be half-naked. ew, do you remember you guys totally made out like a million years ago ? bitch, she was ur first kiss, haha !**

Santana had to admit that it wasn't the most pleasant memory she had but it was a funny one and actually, quite hot too.

**RECEIVED: 21:27**

**bitch thts ur girlfriend and i no 4 a fact tht she was ur first kiss 2 so... plus it was u guys tht made me do tht! we also agreed not to bring it up again ! x**

Santana scoffed at Quinn's reply and then burst out laughing when more of the memory came back to her. She and Brittany had indeed practically forced Quinn to kiss the blonde haired girl. It wasn't that Quinn didn't want to because she had always thought that Brittany looked like an awesome kisser but it was more that she was afraid to kiss another girl and especially in front of anyone else. Being comfortable with her sexuality and slightly drunk from the alcohol the three had consumed, Quinn agreed to do it much to Brittany's delight.

For a 15 year old Santana it was, at the time the hottest things she had ever witnessed, not that she admitted that. Seeing the girl she had fallen for kissing another girl made Santana blush and squeeze her legs together tightly. She knew that Brittany was an amazing kisser and when Quinn pulled back dazed Santana grinned.

Now that she and Brittany were actually together and since she now got jealous of anyone Brittany was with or kissed, Santana tried to push the memory out of her head.

**SENT: 21:30**

**she sure was ;) ! lets re-agree never to talk abt it agen coz its rlly not something i want to thnk abt as hot as it was.  
><strong>

**RECEIVED: 21:33**

**oka, re-agreed. text me when u guys decied wen you want to do something and ill see you later, lopez! x  
><strong>

**SENT: 21:37**

**see ya FabGAY :) x**

Santana couldn't resist, deciding that if her 'gayness' was something they could joke about then Quinn's 'straightness' was too. The Latina knew that the blonde was far too straight to be gay but she suspected since that kiss that Quinn had a little crush on Brittany, whether she still had now Santana didn't know but it genuinely confused the Latina as to how anyone couldn't have a crush on the dancer, male or female, gay or straight.

Music continued to play through the speakers and Santana hummed along gently to each song while just staring at the ceiling thinking about how pretty great her life was, despite the fact that she was still partially in the closet. When it reached 10:30 and Brittany still hadn't come upstairs for bed, Santana went to investigate.

"...And then there was this huge duck and the owl was just staring at him..." Santana grinned at hearing the blondes voice before she entered the kitchen.

"Hey, San." Brittany bit her lip, completely forgetting that she was in the middle of a story. All Santana wanted to do was wrap her arm around her girlfriend and kiss her but she was sure her grandmother wouldn't be very impressed by that and by the look in Brittany's eye, Santana could tell she was thinking the exact same thing.

"You've been avoiding me, Santana." Lilia sighed clasping her hands on her lap, in the chair she sat on at the table.

"No, abuela." Santana smiled gently at the older woman. "I just haven't been feeling great today."

Brittany smiled sympathetically towards the Latina and then walked towards her.

"What's wrong?" She asked in a soft voice, taking hold of Santana's arm being sure to not get too intimate with her.

"I just had a headache but I'm good now, B." Santana answered looking to her grandma so she couldn't smile too widely and look suspicious.

"You head up to bed, querida." Lilia yawned herself. "I'm going to be doing the same, this one has worn me out with all the talk." She joked, laughing at Brittany.

"Te veré en la mañana, abuela." Santana said happy to be able to get to bed.

She turned to Brittany who ran over and gave her grandmother a kiss on the cheek, making the older woman chuckle.

"Ella es una chica buena." Lilia said seriously and it made Santana's heart stop for a second because the look in her eye was a knowing one. The younger Latina just nodded shyly.

"Buenas noches." Santana whispered and she pulled Brittany out of the room.

"Balloons no chase." Brittany shouted back to the woman in a bad Spanish accent. Santana giggled at how adorable she was.

Once inside Santana's room, Brittany skipped over to the bed and flopped down on her stomach. Santana locked the door, not wanting to be caught with Brittany in a position that would make them look like a couple and not best friends and since they would be sharing a bed, Santana knew that Brittany would most likely end up snoring half on top of her as she slept.

Brittany raised an eyebrow suggestively when she saw the Latina slide the lock into place.

"Don't get too excited, Britt." She chuckled. "We still can't fuck with my grandmother in the next room."

"Aww!" Brittany pouted and rolled onto her side to watch the Latina move towards the bed.

"And I don't think you'd be getting any of this tonight, anyway." Santana sighed sitting down on the edge of the bed, her back to Brittany. "Cause it seems to me that you're far more interested in my grandma."

"Nooo..." The dancer giggled wrapping her arms around Santana's waist and pressing her face into the bottom of Santana's back as she still lay on her side on the bed. "She was telling me all of these cool stories about you when you were little."

"You knew me when I was 'little' so it wouldn't be anything new." Santana continued to pretend to be upset.

"San!" Brittany pouted and let go of the smaller girls waist to sit up.

"Go get ready for bed, babe." Santana couldn't suppress a grin. "I'm just messing with you."

"Oh." Brittany giggled.

The blonde hopped up, pressing a kiss to Santana's cheek before heading to her suitcase which was on Santana's chair and gathering her clothes from it and a small bag which Santana assumed was her toothbrush and things, before heading to the en suite to get ready.

When Brittany re-entered her bedroom, Santana was under the sheets, her back to the bathroom door, facing away from Brittany.

The blonde put her things on Santana's dresser and slipped under the covers next to the Latina, leaning over to click off the light on the table before she settled down.

"Are you sleeping?" Brittany whispered pressing herself up against the smaller girls back.

"Yes." Santana whispered back and Brittany poked her ribs with a giggle.

"No you're not." She laughed against Santana's hair.

The bed moved slightly as Santana turned in Brittany's arms to face her. Both girls lay on their sides, their bodies touching, faces an inch apart, staring at each other. It had been a long time since they shared a bed and they both had missed it more than they could say.

"Puck's having a party next Saturday." Santana whispered bringing her hand up under the covers to stoke Brittany's exposed bicep. "I told Quinn we'd go. We don't have to."

"No, it sounds fun." Brittany mumbled softly loving the feeling of Santana's fingers tracing circles on her skin.

"Quinn though we should hang out too. The three of us I mean." Santana went on, her voice very quiet. "We thought we could go to the beach sometime next week. Does that sound good, too?"

"Uh-hu." Brittany nodded and pressed herself even closer to the Latina.

They lay in silence for a long time, just looking at each other, loving their closeness. Brittany slipped her leg between Santana's and after another few minutes she leaned closer and kissed the Latina softly. After that, she slipped down the mattress slightly so she could rest her head against Santana's chest. The Latina smiled and wrapped her arm around Brittany's back, pulling their bodies closer together.

"Is it weird that I'm actually okay with this?" Santana asked, amused burying her face in Brittany's blonde hair.

"Okay with what?" The taller girl mumbled confused against Santana's skin.

"I don't know...This. I'm kind of glad that your staying here tonight and we're not over at your house having sex." Santana tried to explain. "Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to have sex, in fact I really do but I mean I like this. I like just cuddling. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Yeah." Brittany titled her head and kissed the smaller girls neck gently. "I understand. I like it too. I love this."

They fell silent again for a few minutes.

"Britt?"

"Mmm?"

"What 'fun things' did you bring that we never got to do?" Santana whispered curiously, remembering the blondes suitcase.

"Monopoly." Brittany mumbled lazily.

Santana giggled against her making Brittany smile too.

"Scrabble." She grinned and Santana squeezed her tightly.

"I love you." She murmured into blonde hair.

"I love you too, baby." Brittany replied, emphasizing the last word because she wanted the darker girl to repeat it back to her.

"I love you too, baby. I'll see you in the morning." Santana smiled, knowing what the dancer wanted.

"Wake me when you get up, please?" Brittany turned her head up to ask softly.

"Okay. Duerme bien, Britt-Britt." Santana whispered and a few seconds later Brittany was snoring quietly against her.

Santana sighed happily, kissed Brittany's head and fell into her own deep sleep.


End file.
